Nothing (Without You)

I guess I should preface this by explaining what it is. I am taking a class this semester entitled: What Is Worship? In this class I have to write a weekly reflection “paper” on what I learned over the past week. The paper is supposed to address three areas: God, worship and myself. The following is the fourth such paper I’ve written. I may go back and post the other three so that you can witness the progression…if there is any. 

I’m not so sure I learned anything new about God this week but I have been reminded of things that I always knew about Him. He never ceases to amaze me in the ways that He provides for me. It’s not just in the material things that I see His provision. I am starting to recognize His deliberate actions in my life and it blows me away. In my times of emotional distress He is right there giving me what He knows I need. I have been struggling with some issues lately and He continues to direct me to appropriate Bible verse or put people in my life who speak to the very issues that I fight against. I must not forget that God will always know where I am and what I need to get through. In His gracious and immeasurable love, He will always meet those needs.

I watched two of the worship sessions at this weekend’s Oasis (a high school youth rally) and I left feeling somewhat conflicted. On the one hand, it was great seeing a room filled with teenagers singing songs about God. On the other hand, I often felt as if the session was more of a concert than a time of worship. The songs were appropriate but I got the impression that it was more about having fun than anything else. I’m conflicted because I have done the same sort of thing when I was supposed to be leading people in worship. Do the silly hand gestures really belong? I don’t mean to be overly critical, but I was somewhat disappointed when several minutes were spent teaching the crowd how to do the “water sprinkler” dance to one of the songs. Is it wrong to be silly and cut up while singing songs about God? Is it true worship? If anything, this past weekend left me with more questions than answers.

This past weekend taught me that I have a lot to learn. I am still fighting the urge to put myself before others. When picking out the songs for our new children’s worship time I was more concerned about whether or not I could play them easily or if I could make them fun. I found myself doing the same thing that bothered me so much about Oasis. I wasn’t making the time about worship. I was trying to make it cool and fun so the kids would go back and tell their parents how much fun children’s worship time was. I have a bigger problem with idolatry than I ever imagined. I am making my perceived job performance the motivation behind what I’m doing. That’s about as pagan as sacrificing a virgin to a volcano.