Nothing (Without You)

A brief quote from Worship The Way It Was Meant To Be by Robert Wetmore:

The psalmists wrote as much or more about their grief as they did about their times of exaltation. In fact, a comparison study shows that there are more verses about pain in the Psalms than there are about exultation and praise. Contrast that with worship services today, which are shrouded in empty happiness. Hurting people who smile sweetly during praise time are weeping in their hearts. Not so with the psalmists. They were unafraid to tell God all about their grief and despair. Remember, worship expresses our relationship with God, and the psalmists knew that their sorrows and fears were every bit as much a part of their relationship with God as their joy (pp.106-107).

In his book, Worship: The Way It Was Meant To Be, Robert Wetmore writes that “the Law of Moses entirely ignores teaching the Israelites what they were supposed to do with music in their abad, their service of worship to the Lord” (p.65). The principle Wetmore teaches is that God never told Moses what role music was supposed to play. A right relationship with God is required of all who wish to worship Him. The concept of shahah, or bowing down to show proper relationship to God, is the first Biblical idea of worship. Worship is literally “bowing” before God to show Him that we understand who He is and why we should worship Him. Once we have “bowed” before God, we are then able to serve (abad) Him. God commanded His people to remember all of the things that He had done for them. A large part of their worship centered on recognizing and memorializing the good things that He had done for them. As Christians we are called to do the same thing every time we gather for the Lord’s Supper. We aren’t able to worship God without the sacrifices He has made on our behalf and part of worship should be to actively remember them. The Jewish feasts were all given by God so that His grace and mercy would be remembered by future generations. Their worship of Him focused on all that He had done for them. Our worship should do the same thing. We should never gather without first bowing before God and recognizing who He is. The second thing we should do is remember what He did for us on the cross.

I guess I should preface this by explaining what it is. I am taking a class this semester entitled: What Is Worship? In this class I have to write a weekly reflection “paper” on what I learned over the past week. The paper is supposed to address three areas: God, worship and myself. The following is the fourth such paper I’ve written. I may go back and post the other three so that you can witness the progression…if there is any. 

I’m not so sure I learned anything new about God this week but I have been reminded of things that I always knew about Him. He never ceases to amaze me in the ways that He provides for me. It’s not just in the material things that I see His provision. I am starting to recognize His deliberate actions in my life and it blows me away. In my times of emotional distress He is right there giving me what He knows I need. I have been struggling with some issues lately and He continues to direct me to appropriate Bible verse or put people in my life who speak to the very issues that I fight against. I must not forget that God will always know where I am and what I need to get through. In His gracious and immeasurable love, He will always meet those needs.

I watched two of the worship sessions at this weekend’s Oasis (a high school youth rally) and I left feeling somewhat conflicted. On the one hand, it was great seeing a room filled with teenagers singing songs about God. On the other hand, I often felt as if the session was more of a concert than a time of worship. The songs were appropriate but I got the impression that it was more about having fun than anything else. I’m conflicted because I have done the same sort of thing when I was supposed to be leading people in worship. Do the silly hand gestures really belong? I don’t mean to be overly critical, but I was somewhat disappointed when several minutes were spent teaching the crowd how to do the “water sprinkler” dance to one of the songs. Is it wrong to be silly and cut up while singing songs about God? Is it true worship? If anything, this past weekend left me with more questions than answers.

This past weekend taught me that I have a lot to learn. I am still fighting the urge to put myself before others. When picking out the songs for our new children’s worship time I was more concerned about whether or not I could play them easily or if I could make them fun. I found myself doing the same thing that bothered me so much about Oasis. I wasn’t making the time about worship. I was trying to make it cool and fun so the kids would go back and tell their parents how much fun children’s worship time was. I have a bigger problem with idolatry than I ever imagined. I am making my perceived job performance the motivation behind what I’m doing. That’s about as pagan as sacrificing a virgin to a volcano.

Mount Moriah was the place where Abraham took Isaac to offer him up as a sacrifice.

Mount Moriah was the place where Solomon built his temple to God. Mount Moriah was the place where Herod erected the temple that stood in Jesus’ day. Mount Moriah was the place where Jesus was crucified on Calvary.

Abraham called that place “God provides.”

Think of all the sacrifices offered up at that place. Think of the sacrifice halted by God on that mountain and then compare that to the final sacrifice that God allowed to happen there. “God provides.”

Moriah was the Mount of God and He revealed Himself both to Abraham and to us by His actions there.

Worship cannot happen without the shedding of blood. We have convinced ourselves that worship is about singing and praying and lifestyle…but in reality it is a bloody, gruesome process that takes away our sins. There is no worship without blood. It has been that way from the beginning and it remains so to this day.

Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified

Follow Christ to the holy mountain
Sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall
Cleanse your heart and your soul
In the fountain that flowed
For you and for me and for all

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
We’re atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night

On the hillside, you will be delivered
At the foot of the cross justified
And your spirit restored
By the river that poured
From our blessed Savior’s side

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
We’re atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night

Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified

Take a walk
out the gate you go and never stop
past dollar stores and wig shops
quarter in a cup for every block
and watch the buildings grow
smaller as you go

lyrics by Ben Folds

I’m going to assume that Ben is writing this song through Jesus’ eyes. I kind of like to think he is. If not…then my post will make no sense and I won’t like the song as much as I do.

How would Jesus feel if he took a casual stroll through your neighborhood? What thoughts would go through His head as He walked past your house and your church and all the places that you go to? How would Jesus feel as He stopped to notice (and spend time with) all of the people that you ignore on a daily basis? How would He feel if he slipped in the back door of your church and sat there…silently watching the things that went on in His name?

Do you think He would be pleased? Do you think there would be a smile on His face? Do you think He would have something to tell His Father about?

I don’t want to answer those questions…do you?

I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching lately. I’ve been looking at myself much more closely than I am comfortable doing. I’ve seen things that I don’t like and I’ve decided to finally do something about them.

Actually…I’ve decided to stop trying to fix all the things I think are wrong and let the Spirit work in me as He sees fit. I’m slowly discovering that He does a much better job convicting me of things than I ever will. I’ve decided that He will do a much better job fixing me than I can ever dream of. I’ve decided to throw away my self-help mentality. It’s poison to my system. I can’t help myself. I can’t fix the things that are wrong with me. I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to beat myself into becoming a better person.

It’s not that I think we shouldn’t try to be better people…I really do. The problem is that we often rely on ourselves to do that work. I can no more solve the sin problem in my life than I can rebuild the motor in that Z-28 sitting in my driveway.

I call myself a Christian. I say that I believe in Jesus and I want to serve Him. What am I doing about it? Nothing…and that’s exactly what happens when I try to do something on my own. It doesn’t get done. I look to myself for the power and strength to accomplish things and that’s a recipe for failure.

I said that Blue Like Jazz wasn’t a life-changing book…maybe I was wrong. There wasn’t anything particularly original in it…not to me anyway. But I have had this nagging feeling inside ever since I finished it. It’s true that Donald Miller doesn’t quote a ton of Scripture and it’s probably true that he is a bit liberal in areas…but he made me stop and think about something. Am I loving people unconditionally? Am I relating to people in a way that Jesus would?

I don’t think that we should attempt to emulate every single detail of Jesus’ life but I do believe He was teaching us how to think and how to behave and how to love. We can’t do those things though…not on our own. Unless we surrender to the will of the Father, we will never be able to love the way Jesus loved.

I take spirituality for granted. I’m good with the religion part of following Christ…after all it’s just a bunch of stuff that I have to do. Most of it isn’t terribly difficult and it doesn’t cost me too much. But that spiritual living stuff Jesus talked about…that scares me. I’m scared to let the Holy Spirit have free reign in my life. What if He starts changing things around? What if He starts moving things that I don’t want moved?

I don’t watch a lot of those home improvement shows because I don’t enjoy them, but I do remember seeing one episode of While You Were Out that really stuck with me. They did all of this work to the house and the person being surprised totally hated it. She was polite about it but you could see it in her eyes. She walked in the front door and her jaw nearly dropped. Her husband and the host were dancing all around like kids at Christmas and she hated it.

That’s why the Holy Spirit scares me. It’s not that I don’t understand Him or believe in Him. I know exactly what He can (and will) do when people surrender to Him. He will come in and clean house. He won’t care if it’s your favorite chair or if you’ve had it your whole life. If He doesn’t want it there…it’s gone. So there I am…like the lady on While You Were Out. God is excited because He has all these great ideas and rennovations in store for my life and I’m shaking my head thinking, “I hate this.”

I don’t know where this is leading me. Quite honestly…I’m terrified. I’ve always jumped at the first nudge and attempted to do what I thought God wanted me to do without ever giving Him a chance to tell me. I’ve got to sit still and listen. I’ve got to loosen my death grip on all those things I’m comfortable with.

I don’t know if I like this at all.