Tomorrow is my lovely wife’s birthday. If things go the way I plan, we’re going to go out for lunch and possibly hit up a couple of thrift stores. It’s not the most exciting birthday date, but that’s how we roll. Tomorrow also has special significance to us because it is the 26th anniversary of the day that we officially became a couple. We had known each other for about a year and had gone out a couple of times but it wasn’t until September 3, 1989, that we made it officially. Honestly, there are days when it seems like yesterday. It’s hard to believe that we’ve been together over a quarter of a century. However, there are also days when it seems like we have always been with one another. I guess that is to be expected when you have spent over half of your life with someone. I know 26 years isn’t THAT long. I have known couples that hit 40, 50, and even 60 years. We’re not even close to that, but we’re still doing pretty good.
I think part of the reason for that is that we both told ourselves that failure was not an option. I can remember standing at the front of the church on the day we got married, telling myself, “This is your last chance to walk out of here. Once this is done, you are stuck with her FOREVER.” I know many of you are groaning and thinking, “That’s not very romantic.” Maybe you’re right, but you know what? It has helped me get through some rough times. I am fortunate that Robin didn’t give up on me. We had some issues early on in our marriage and I believe it is by the grace of God that we stuck it out. There has been a lot of forgiveness in our relationship. We wouldn’t have made it this far without it.
I have said this before, and I mean it. Robin is my soulmate. I truly do believe that but there’s more to it. She isn’t my soulmate because God chose her out especially for me. I don’t believe in the Hollywood idea of destiny and fate. At the risk of sounding very unromantic, I probably could have ended up with someone else and had a good life and been happy. I never have bought into the idea of a Mr.Right or a Mrs. Right the way you see it in all those romantic comedies. I don’t think it’s that simple. I think Robin is Mrs. Right because I married her and I made a conscious decision to make her Mrs. Right. She’s my better half because I have been wise enough to stay with her. Don’t get me wrong, she had huge hand in it too. I believe she made those same decisions when it came to me and I thank God for it.
I know that things sometimes happen. I know that some marriages don’t survive. I do not believe that divorce is some unforgivable sin or that I am a better person because I am still married. The truth is, we can’t always make things work. Sometimes the other person is unwilling or too broken to try. The good thing is that there is grace and mercy there. My heart aches when I see friends and family members who cannot make their relationships survive. I really do. I know that some of them really tried. I am so thankful that our God is gracious and merciful and doesn’t see us as the broken people that we truly are.
I think that’s biggest reason Robin and I have made it this far. We try to see one another through God’s eyes. We try love each other the way God loves. It took us some time to figure that out but God did bring us to that point. I am so glad Robin is my wife. She’s my best friend. She’s the one person I can my 100% honest around. She sees me for who I really am…a child of the King. She loves me no matter what. What more could I possibly ask for?
Years ago, Rich Mullins wrote a song called Doubly Good. It was originally meant to be for his wedding, but that day never came. As I understand it, a lot of people wanted to record it and he never could seem to let it go. Amy Grant did eventually record it but I want to share Rich’s demo version. It is such a beautiful song and when I think about my relationship with Robin, I realize that God has been doubly good to me.
If you see the morning rising gently on your fields
If the wind blows softly on your face
If the sunset lingers while cathedral bells peel
If the moon has risen to her place
You can thank the Father for the things that He has done. You can thank Him for the things He’s yet to do.
If you find a love that’s tender…If you find someone who’s true Then thank the Lord. He’s been doubly good to you.
If you look in the mirror at the end of a hard day
And, you know in your heart you have not lied.
If you gave love freely..and if you’ve earned an honest wage
And, if you’ve got Jesus by your side